Sticking Up for the Fat Girl

I have a bone to pick with certain people out there. Or perhaps not a bone, but just something I'd like to clarify. Us big girls, we know we're big. We don't need reminders, stares, or intentional avoidance of eye contact to remind us that we're big. What I want to point out, is not to these strangers, but to you thinner friends, acquaintances, and family members. I know you're trying to be nice when you make comments like "you look thinner" or "you look like you've lost weight." I look in the mirror every day (as little as possible, but I still look). I know what I look like, when I look better, when I look worse. So on the days when you say this, and I know that I am not thinner and my outfit is not more flattering than the last time I saw you, what you are really saying is "in my head I remembered you as an even bigger girl, and right now you look smaller than I imagined you." It isn't something that I take as a compliment, but rather as a little bit of horror at what kind of giantess you saw me as in your head. So all I ask is that you please stop and consider your well-intended compliment. Big girls are SO much more aware of their size and how it presents itself from day to day. If you're not sure, keep it more generic. Only offer the "you've lost weight" compliment when you're confident it's well-placed, and you're sure you're remembering the "real" girl. We do like to hear it, certainly our fragile egos need all the confidence boosters we can get. Just make sure it's truly sincere.